Fabulous PMD Shipdump
by NaturallyDark
Summary: Do you love Pokemon Mystery Dungeon? Do you like nonsense? Perfect! You'll get both! I will be writing the most insane, pointless, and confusing ships from PMD and dumping them right in here! Most recent ship: Chatot X Grovyle
1. WigglytuffXDiglett

**Thank you, FabulousJoJo, for suggesting so many Pokémon Mystery Dungeon ships. They are lovely, well thought-out, and all entirely plausible, meant not to torture me, but to inspire me.**

**Right?**

**This will be my dump for any and all Pokémon Mystery Dungeon shippings that make little to no sense. Additionally, if you enjoy seeing me suffer, feel free to suggest more ridiculous ships. **

**As these do not make any sense, they may not yet have shipping names. The most fabulous reviewers (that means everyone) are allowed to suggest ship names. These names can make sense, be witty, or be confusing as heck and unrelated to anything. Be my guest.**

* * *

A gentle breeze caressed the ground as it swooped by in the hush of the night. Militantly stood Diglett beneath the guild's grate, bathed by the milky moonlight seeping between the bars. Even now, while everyone else slept, he would not allow himself to move from his spot or close his eyes for a moment's rest. If his job was to watch for the shadow of footprints above, he could not afford to do so little as turn his head away.

"Diglett? Why are you still awake?"

Diglett kept his eyes upon the grate, though the warm voice was enough to melt his heart.

"Guildmaster Wigglytuff, I am on guard," he spoke rigidly. "It's my duty to watch it, and identify any footprints. Suppose someone arrived in the night? I need to remain here to ensure that no criminals will enter."

The melodic laughter of his Guildmaster reached his ears and he felt his face heat like the interior of a torkoal. He sensed the Pokémon walking over to him and coming within the distance of a single, calculated step.

"Silly friend! It's the middle of the night, and the gate is down! No Pokémon can get in anymore!"

The warmth trickled through Diglett's entire body like a rivulet of water. Giving the grate one final, lasting gaze, he closed his eyes and turned about to face the rose-coloured Pokémon.

"I'm sorry, Guildmaster," he whispered, "I should have known better. I am unfit to be a sentry for this guild!"

Diglett could feel Wigglytuff's stare boring into his skull and tears gathered behind his eyelids like water pushing up against a dam. Any moment now would be shattered by Wigglytuff's voice telling him to leave and never return, or that he was ashamed of him.

"What for, silly?" Wigglytuff spoke as if Diglett had done nothing more than blink at him, with the cheerfulness of a small child. "You're a great sentry, especially if you're trying to stay up at night to guard the guild! I suggest you get some sleep, though, so you'll be well-rested for tomorrow!"

A single tear crept out from behind Diglett's lids and it snaked down his face. Forcefully, he opened his eyes to gaze up at his Guildmaster. The mere sight of him set butterfrees loose in his stomach and he felt as though he could lift off from the ground. Wigglytuff smiled down at him, like a warm ray of sunlight, then turned and began to walk away, put distance between them again.

"Wait, Guildmaster!" The words burst from Diglett's mouth like a caged skitty. "There is something I must say, before you go!"

For a moment, Wigglytuff paused, as if considering whether or not to listen. But he turned his head back to Diglett, the smile lifting the corners of his mouth again. Diglett's heart leapt up and pounded madly against his chest, but his words could no longer remain trapped.

"Guildmaster, I...I love you! I love you with all of my being!"

There registered no shock on Wigglytuff's face; not a single facial feature moved. So did that mean that he did not care for Diglett as Diglett did him? Or did it mean that he had already anticipated this claim? And that he, too, loved Diglett?

"Diglett..." Wigglytuff whispered sweetly. "I love all of the guild members! You should know that!"

"But...what about me?" Diglett's voice caught in his throat, and he turned away. "No, I never should have admitted my true feelings! I have only made myself into more of a fool!"

While his eyes were closed, and he desperately willed his tears not to come, a paw was laid upon his head. He dared to open an eye, then the other. It was Wigglytuff, who looked at him with more adoration than Diglett could ever muster.

"Yup, you, too!" Wigglytuff giggled again and it rang through like a melody. "You're one of the guild members, aren't you? So that means I love you, too!"

Diglett's heart began to fill with emotion and grew until he could hear in pounding in his mind. "W-Wigglytuff..."

Wigglytuff opened his mouth in a delicate yawn and he began to hop away, appearing almost to glide across the ground. "Well, good night, Diglett! Sleep well, okay?"

"I promise," Diglett replied, feeling tears slide down his cheeks. The only wish he had in life had been fulfilled. Wigglytuff returned his everlasting emotions. The thought lay in his mind and, giving one last look up to the grate who had enabled and allowed such a miracle to happen, also lay down to rest.

* * *

**If that didn't make sense, just remember – if you give crap, you get crap.**

**Remember to leave ship suggestions and suggestions for ship names!**


	2. Cosmosshipping (DialgaXPalkia)

**You people surprised me and disgust me. I thought this silly little story would slide under everyone's radars and into unimportance, but you proved me wrong. Thanks to you, I'm now going to end up procrastinating even more in my main story. Yeah, thanks a lot.**

**Anyways, I figured I'd better get this one out of the way. Why do so many people ship these two? They never even meet in the games. Oh, well. Leave a comment with suggestions and I'll try to write them all.**

**I still don't know why I agreed to do this.**

* * *

Dialga sat alone in his tower, staring out of the one, large window. There, frolicking in the fields and surrounded by beautiflies, was the charming and dreamy Palkia. Dialga sighed and batted his eyelashes. He was hopelessly in love with Palkia, but he could never admit it to anyone.

"OH, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY," he said to himself, then glided away from the window. As he trotted down the hallway, which shook with every step, his elegant blue ball gown swayed from side to side. He bowed gracefully to one of Temporal Tower's maids, a bronzong, and, in doing so, accidentally whacked it on the head with the tip of his pointy princess hat.

"GOOD DAY, BRONZONG," he said respectfully, then bowed and hit it again. Bronzong nodded to him then continued dusting the walls and furniture with a feather duster. Dialga walked through the entire tower until he was outside in open air. He crept through the flower field until he was very near to Palkia. At that current moment, Palkia was serenading some cute little rampardoses and magmortars with his sweet singing voice.

"THE HILLS ARE ALIVE...WITH THE SOUND OF MUSIC... WITH SONGS THEY HAVE SUNG FOR A THOUSAND YEARS..."

"THAT'S VERY BEAUTIFUL, PALKIA," Dialga said, coming up from behind Palkia. Palkia turned and stared at him.

"THANK YOU, DIALGA." He pulled out a fan and hid his blushing face behind it. "THAT IS VERY KIND OF YOU TO SAY."

Palkia was wearing a trailing, sequinned pink dress and a sparkling little tiara. On his claws he wore delicate lace gloves. Truly, he was the pinnacle of beauty.

"OH, WHAT ARE WE TO DO, MY DEAR PALKIA?" Dialga spoke. "WE ARE FORBIDDEN TO BE IN LOVE."

"WE SHALL RUN AWAY TOGETHER!" Palkia proclaimed. "AND WE SHALL BE SECRETLY WED BY SUNSET IN A SECRET FOREST SECRETLY!"

"ARE YOU CERTAIN?" Dialga made sure to keep his voice down so nobody heard him. "WHAT IF SOMEONE DISCOVERS US?"

Slowly, Palkia reached out and took Dialga's front legs in his hands. "NOBODY SHALL DISCOVER US! I PROMISE YOU THAT!"

Wobbling on his back feet, Dialga nodded, with a tear rolling down his face. "THEN WE MUST MAKE HASTE! SHOULD SOMEONE DISCOVER US – "

Just then, Dusknoir appeared between them and struck Palkia. A cry escaped from Palkia's mouth and he fell to the ground.

"NO! PALKIA!" bellowed Dialga, reaching out one of his front legs towards him. Dusknoir spun and grasped Dialga's neck seductively.

"Hark! Were you with this princess, plotting schemes together?" he asked softly, giving Dialga a stern stare.

"WE SHALL BE WED, AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!" Dialga sobbed.

"Hark hark hark!" Dusknoir, in fury, opened a dimensional hole and shoved Palkia through it. "Ha! Now you will never again see your beloved Palkia! And I shall be the only one for you now!" With that, he dragged Dialga back to his tower and had him locked away in the pinnacle.

"YOU CANNOT DO THIS, DUSKNOIR!" Dialga roared, thrashing about in his small room.

"I just did," chuckled Dusknoir. "In two days' time, let the wedding bells ring for us!" Laughing, he floated away. Dialga continued rampaging but eventually stopped because his beautiful dress was getting dirt on it. He sat by the window and gazed out, tears trickling down his face.

"OH, PALKIA, WHERE ARE YOU NOW?" he wondered aloud. "I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING JUST TO SEE YOUR SWEET FACE AGAIN."

Night fell upon Temporal Tower, and he eventually lay down on the bed to rest, though he broke it because he was too heavy. He began to dream, and found himself in a flower field, not unlike the one just outside. Then, a being appeared out of the mist. It was pink, blue, and yellow, and looked quite a bit like an overgrown swanna.

"ARE YOU A DUCK?" asked Dialga curiously. The being shook her head and giggled.

"No, I'm far prettier than a duck!" she told him. "My name is Cresselia the Good Fairy, and I have come to grant your wish!"

"MY...WISH?"

"Yes! You want to see Palkia again, correct?" Cresselia pulled out a star-topped wand and waved it around. "Woosh! Woosh!" she cried. Then she put the wand away and smiled pleasantly. "Your wish has been granted! Now...wake up!"

Dialga awoke in his tower room, and immediately stood and looked around.

"MY FAIR MAIDEN...WHERE ARE YOU? I DO NOT SEE YOU HERE!"

He peered out the window and gasped in shock. There was Palkia, sitting in the flower field, twisting a flower crown for himself.

"MY DEAR, MY LOVE!" Dialga called out the window. "I AM COMING FOR YOU!" Then he rammed into the door, causing it to splinter into thousands of tiny pieces. He pounded through the halls gracefully, swinging his tail back and forth in excitement and subsequently destroying many pieces of priceless furniture. Dusknoir appeared in the hallway in front of him, looking very confused.

"Princess Dialga, what are you – gwah!" Dialga had plowed right through him without even noticing him and kept running.

Once he had reached the bottom of Temporal Tower, he literally threw open the grand double-doors at the bottom and rushed into the field. Palkia looked back and gasped.

"OH, DIALGA! YOU HAVE COME BACK FOR ME!" he sobbed, then ran over and embraced him in an awkward-looking hug. "COME, WE MUST LEAVE NOW IF WE ARE TO ESCAPE THE HORRID DUSKNOIR."

So, with feelings of love and adoration swelling within both of them, they held hands in a manner that was very uncomfortable for Dialga and they skipped off towards the sun, which was conveniently setting. And they lived happily ever after.


	3. GrateShipping (GrovyleXGrate)

**This had to be done.**

* * *

Snow was drifting through the white air, and Pokémon were either hibernating off in their dens or tents or playing in the piles of powdery snow. Grovyle could only sit and stare from under the cover of a leafless tree.

_That idiot Celebi!_ he thought. _She sent me back into winter!_

He'd only read about winter before, as their seasons never changed in the future, but he'd never expected it to be this horrid. It was cold and everywhere he walked, evidence of his existence was left behind. How on Arceus's earth was he supposed to collect the five Time Gears undetected?!

Bitterly, he waited around until night fell, ignoring the pangs of hunger he felt. That was another downfall – nothing grew in winter and all prey was off hidden. He would sooner starve than even get caught!

Though the snow couldn't blind him at night, it was even colder and his teeth were chattering with every step he took.

"Stupid Celebi, stupid Celebi," he muttered darkly, tightly crossing his arms over his chest. The cold was becoming overwhelming and he soon realized that he couldn't go on without finding some sort of shelter. Numbly, he plodded down a partially-cleared path until he came across a set of stairs. He looked up them and could faintly see the burning glow of four torches. Grovyle stumbled up the stairs and finally collapsed at the top, breathing heavily.

In front of him was a pink, Wigglytuff-shaped tent, but there was a gate of interwoven branches blocking the entrance. Grovyle muttered curses under his breath and walked towards it to see if he could break in, until he felt a burst of warmth from below.

He glanced down and realized he was standing on a grate. He couldn't see what was below it, but there was some sort of heat source down there.

"Thank Arceus..." Grovyle sighed, then lay down over the grate. Its texture was rough but it felt like a soft bed under his body. His eyes closed and he slowly drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Within a week, Grovyle had stolen all of the Time Gears. It was too cold for anyone to want to do anything about it or even care. In order to get to the Hidden Land, he would have to travel back by the small town to steal the relic fragment from some poor bloke at Wigglytuff's Guild.

But when night fell and he had made his way up the steps, he stopped suddenly. There was the grate that had saved him on his first night in the past, still in its place in the ground.

_I have to focus on my task,_ he thought, trying to shove the grate from his mind. _I break into the guild by destroying this feeble little grate and take the fragment. No deviating._

But as he was about to unleash his Leaf Blade attack on the grate, his arm stopped. He couldn't do it.

Grovyle lowered his arm and sighed. First, he had to do something.

"Grate," he murmured, "thank you. Thank you for lending me your warmth and..." His eyes began to fill up with tears that he hastily rubbed away. "I missed you. I missed you while I was out collecting the Time Gears. Before, I came because I had nothing to live for, but now..."

Grovyle fell to his knees and exclaimed, "I can't live without you! I can't bear to end my life by carrying out my mission! I love you!"

The grate was silent and still.

Grovyle fumbled through his bag and pulled out a Time Gear, then got to one knee. "Grate, I want you to be with me for the rest of my life!" He held out the Time Gear to the grate. "Will you marry me?"

The grate continued to be silent.

"You...you will?" Grovyle asked. He broke into a smile. "Oh, grate!" He flung himself at the grate in an attempted hug and smacked his head so hard that he was instantly knocked out.

Underneath the grate, Diglett and Loudred watched the spectacle with amused grins.

"Well, Diglett, you were RIGHT," Loudred said, clapping his friend on the back. "That X-Eye Seed gas worked PERFECTLY!"

Diglett nodded, turning off the machine that had been producing the gas. "That'll teach him for trying to steal our Time Gears. And for getting the grate to cheat on me." He lowered his voice. "That bastard."


	4. BidoofXGrovyle

**This is what happens when my sister requests a story. I spared you of CelebiXSkuntank and DusknoirXChatot. Be grateful to me.**

* * *

It was winter in Treasure Town and an ordinary day at the Guild. It was a time of sweets, like candy apples, caramel apples, apple crumble, and apple cider, but Wigglytuff was the only one allowed to eat these sweets. As a result, he spent all of his time locked up in his room, pigging out.

All of a sudden, Chimecho announced, "I'm going to have a competition!" All the guild members looked at her eagerly. "Come outside and I'll show you the prize!"

Everyone followed her outside and she beckoned to Treasure Town with her tail. There, splayed out on the street, was a massive red-and-white candy cane that was so big that one could not see the whole thing from any closer up.

"My contest is a best couple plus making out contest," Chimecho told them. "You have to be in an adorable or totally beautiful couple, then make out in a really sexy way. I have lots of mistletoe to give out to practice with. Like, lots. Truckfuls." She paused. "Yeah, I have an overabundance of mistletoe and an oversized candy cane. I need help. Psychological help." She cleared her throat awkwardly then yelled, "Alright, go practice and stuff now!"

"Oh my gosh!" Sunflora squealed. "I'm gonna win for sure! That's because I'm the most charming girl ever!"

Team Charm suddenly rolled up in a Corvette and Lopunny lowered her sunglasses. "Don't even go there, girlfriend," she warned, and Team Charm drove off again, blasting 'Friday' by Rebecca Black from the speakers.

Just as Bidoof started staring at them in awe, Chimecho floated over and whispered, "By the way, if I were you, I wouldn't even enter. You have no chance of winning, anyways."

Bidoof felt sad and disheartened, but he wasn't about to give up. He had a plan. He knew that there was a grovyle stealing all the Time Gears right now, and he would win for sure if he agreed to be his boyfriend just for a short while. So Bidoof grabbed some cardboard, cut it into the shape of a Time Gear, painted it blue, and spread the rumour that there was a sixth Time Gear at Wigglytuff's Guild.

Sure enough, Grovyle one day came to the Guild while everyone was out practicing kissing, but once he had stepped into Bidoof's room to grab the 'Time Gear,' Bidoof, who had been hiding, quickly slammed the door shut.

"What are you doing?!" Grovyle yelled, and tried to escape. But there was no way out for him.

Bidoof replied slyly, "I want to win a giant candy cane, so I need your help in a make-out contest. You just need to make out with me in a sexy way, and I'll win!"

Grovyle stared at him like he was crazy, then shrugged. "Might as well. It's a break from my boring job of collecting Time Gears, anyways."

A few hours later, the contest began. Sunflora was coupled with Loudred and Corphish with Chatot, both of whom looking slightly clueless. Chimecho floated back and forth, inspecting the couples.

"Very hot," she commented to Loudred and Sunflora. To Corphish and Chatot, she was unable to say anything but just shook her head in disappointment. When she got to Bidoof and Grovyle, she glared at both of them for a while before pointing at Grovyle and declaring, "You make him look cool.

"Now, then!" Chimecho pulled out a small bundle of mistletoe and held it up over Loudred and Sunflora's heads. "Show me how awesome you are at making out!"

Sunflora and Loudred had hardly made out at all before they got into an argument about tongues. They yelled at each other at such a horrible volume that everyone else had to put on earmuffs. Then, both of them crossed their arms and marched off in opposite directions to complain to themselves about how the other 'just didn't understand their feelings.'

Chatot and Corphish were next but, after realizing that neither had a mouth suitable for making out with, they had to forfeit. Then, it was Bidoof and Grovyle's turn. This had to be the one.

So they came closer to each other and began to make out. It was gentle yet passionate, fierce yet loving. When they pulled away from each other and stared into each other's eyes, they realized that there was a spark, a beautiful spark between them.

"Yay, you win!" cried out Chimecho. "You win the giant candy cane! And, as a bonus prize, you get all of my mistletoe!"

Suddenly, a dump truck backed in and emptied its massive load of mistletoe right on top of Grovyle and Bidoof and they were crushed to death.


	5. ChatotXGrovyle

**This is another old(er) fic in which Chatot and Grovyle...are Mary Sues!**

* * *

When Chatot was just a little boy, there was a fire in his nest that killed his parents and all of his siblings. He was the only one who survived, so he had to fend for himself for years.

Then one day, he was adopted by Ho-Oh and his wife, Fearow. Ho-Oh loved his new son very much and taught him how to make fireballs and use fire attacks, but sadly, he died from Fearow poisoning his water one day. She was very mean to Chatot and never let him go outside and she would beat him up all the time but he still tried to go on smiling every day.

One day, she decided to enrol him at a guild, where he studied very hard. However, because he was more powerful than even the Guildmaster there, everyone hated him and called him mean names and hurt him. Every night, he would cry himself to sleep.

Then, the new kid came. His name was Grovyle and everyone adored him. He was soon made into the third-in-command after one week of training at the guild and he slept in the other bed in Chatot's room. Chatot soon fell in love with him but was too shy to tell him.

It was a late night and Chatot was crying from having been beat up by the bullies and the Guildmaster, who was a very mean arcanine. Then Grovyle came into the room and looked at him, concerned.

"Why are you crying, Chatot?" he asked, his face full of worry.

"It's because everybody here is so mean to me," he sobbed, slumping against the wall.

"Well, why don't you sing for me?" Grovyle suggested. "Singing always makes me feel better." So Chatot started to sing and it was so beautiful that everyone, even the Guildmaster, came to listen and they cried tears of joy.

"You have the most lovely voice I've ever heard," said Grovyle, his eyes brimming with tears. "So I have a question to ask you." He got on one knee and presented a ring and said, "Will you marry me?"

And of course Chatot said yes and they kissed and it was so beautiful that everyone was crying even more. Then the Guildmaster let them graduate right away and they got married.

Then they moved in together and had three babies.


End file.
